Local author will read her children’s book about loss at HFC
Losing her older sister Hala Mokdad to cancer inspired May Mokdad, an author and retired teacher in the Dearborn Public Schools, to write her first children’s book, Are You Okay?.
“It starts off with a very angry little girl who’s deeply grieving the death of her mother. I don’t think I wrote this book; I think it wrote me,” explained Mokdad, who lives in Dearborn with Matthew, her husband of 20 years, and their two daughters. “I saw so much injustice in the world at the time I wrote it. Most often, young children are not acknowledged for their pain because these are tough conversations to have and they’re thrown into new daily routines too quickly. By doing that, adults are eliminating very powerful conversations that need to happen to help kids deal with the death of a loved one.”
Needing to have that tough conversation with kids about loss and grief
The plot revolves around a young girl who recently lost her mother. Mokdad deliberately left her nameless, so kids can put themselves in her place. The main character is angry, sad, and alone. Her friend Huhu helps her cope with her sudden loss and her darker moments.
“The title of the book came from people asking Hala’s two sons if they were okay when they knew full well they weren’t and weren’t taking the time to acknowledge their pain,” she explained. “These boys just lost their mother. Of course, they’re not okay. This book was generated through their eyes. They might be okay one minute, but they might not be the next. They were still hurting. They needed to have these conversations and support. They needed to be acknowledged for their grief and needed more support at that time. I hope this book lends itself to tough conversations that need to be had and shows them strategies for coping. Kids who lose their parents very young need continual support.”
Coping with loss from a child’s perspective
Mokdad will read from and sign copies of Are You Okay? in the Michael A. Berry Amphitheater (Room L-115) on the first floor of the Andrew A. Mazzara Administrative Services & Conference Center (ASCC) (Building L on the main campus) on Friday, March 15, from 9:30 a.m. to noon.
The Future Teachers Association is sponsoring this event. A fifth-grade class from William Ford Elementary School will attend to listen to Mokdad read her book. HFC Pre-Education Program Director Dr. Carolyn Casale’s students will serve as chaperones and will take the fifth-graders on a tour of the Hammond Planetarium after Mokdad’s presentation.
William Ford teacher Kim Cojei recommended that Mokdad speak about Are You Okay?
“May taught with me for many years at William Ford. She and I have remained very close friends,” said Cojei. “When Dr. Casale approached me last school year about looking for local authors for the fifth-graders, I mentioned to her that I have a close friend who just finished writing a book about grief. May had recently lost her sister to cancer. Through this experience, she understood the need for helping children deal with loss. The book talks about loss and how to cope with it from a child’s point of view.”
Added Mokdad: “This event is about spreading kindness. What better way than to use this book to spread kindness? They couldn’t have picked a better book. It has a trickling effect. One act of kindness lends itself to another and to another. Before you know it, everyone’s benefiting from one act of kindness!”
Spreading kindness through grief
Born in Lebanon, Mokdad is the fifth of six children. Her sister Hala was the third child and the eldest daughter, who was six years Mokdad’s senior. Hala served as a mentor to her three sisters.
“She was like a second mother to us in many ways. She was fun and spirited. She was the valedictorian of her graduating class at Southwestern High School in Detroit. She was an attorney. She was such a very giving person. In fact, most of the time, she offered her legal expertise for free,” recalled Mokdad.
In 2022, Hala was diagnosed with skin cancer. It was a shock to her entire family because she was healthy and led a healthy, active lifestyle. Upon being diagnosed, she died within six months.
“Hala was 54. That’s too young,” said Mokdad. “Her death was the reason why I retired and decided to help kids in a different way by supporting them during their time of grief.”
Mokdad focused on becoming an author and on establishing Hala’s Heart, a nonprofit organization in Lebanon to keep her sister’s legacy alive. Its purpose is to provide people adequate food, shelter, and clothing. Hala’s Heart is in its infancy.
“It’s about spreading kindness through grief,” said Mokdad.
You are not alone
Writing Are You Okay? was difficult for Mokdad, an alumna of Fordson High School and two-time alumna of Wayne State University who was a teacher in Dearborn for 27 years.
“Some of it was tough, revisiting the memories, the trauma,” said Mokdad. “Hala and I won’t be able to make any new memories together. For me, that is the hardest part of losing her.”
It was also very cathartic.
“It helped me work through my grief,” she said.
Some of the proceeds from Are You Okay? will be donated to help kids in the Metro Detroit area deal with the loss of a parent.
“When writing this book, I got to visit grief centers and hear other people’s stories,” said Mokdad. “I wasn’t alone going through this. It empowered me to help kids and spread the message that there are people out there who care. They might feel alone, but they’re not alone; there is a lot of support out there to help them get through it. The best message this book sends is you will get through it.”
How to get a copy of Are You Okay?
Are You Okay? is available for purchase through:
Copies of the book will also be for sale at HFC on March 15. Mokdad will be more than happy to autograph them. For questions about Are You Okay? or to invite Mokdad to speak at an event, contact may1125@yahoo.com
Help is out there
If you and your children have suffered a loss, you do not have to go through the grieving process alone. Help is out there. Michigan Resources for Grieving Families provides a list of support groups in your area for your needs.