Release Date: 
Tuesday, March 19, 2024

Local author’s presentation discusses the difficult topic of helping children through grief

Photo of Carolyn Casale, Kim Cojei, May Mokdad, and Francine Cercone.
From L-R: HFC Pre-Education Program Director Dr. Carolyn Casale, teacher Kim Cojei, author May Mokdad, and teacher Francine Cercone pose with Mokdad’s children’s book “Are You Okay?” Mokdad recently signed copies of her book at HFC.

Losing her older sister Hala Mokdad to cancer inspired May Mokdad, an author and retired teacher in the Dearborn Public Schools, to write her first children’s book, Are You Okay?

“It starts off with a very angry little girl who’s deeply grieving the death of her mother. I don’t think I wrote this book; I think it wrote me,” explained Mokdad, who lives in Dearborn with Matthew Abraham, her husband of 20 years, and their two daughters.

She continued: “Most often, young children are not acknowledged for their pain because these are tough conversations to have, and they’re thrown into new daily routines too quickly. By doing that, adults are eliminating very powerful, very important conversations that need to happen to help kids deal with the death of a loved one.”

The plot revolves around a young girl who recently lost her mother. Mokdad deliberately left her nameless, so that children can put themselves in her place. The main character is angry, sad, and alone. Her friend Huhu helps her cope with her sudden loss and her darker moments.

“The title of the book came from people asking Hala’s two sons if they were okay, when they knew full well that they weren’t and they weren’t taking the time to acknowledge the pain,” said Mokdad. “These boys just lost their mother. Of course they’re not okay. This book was generated through their eyes. They might be okay one minute, but they might not be the next. They were still hurting. They needed to have these conversations and support. They needed to be acknowledged for their grief and needed more support at that time. I hope this book lends itself to tough conversations that need to happen and shows them strategies for coping. Children who lose their parents very young need continual support.”

Having that tough conversation with children about loss and grief

On March 15, Mokdad read and signed copies of Are You Okay? at HFC. About 100 people attended, including two fifth-grade classes from William Ford Elementary School taught by Kim Cojei and Francine Cercone. The Future Teachers Association sponsored the event.

“The Dean of the HFC School of Health and Human Services Dr. Cynthia Scheuer was instrumental in finding funding for the event. The author donated her time, but we purchased the books. Cyndi made that happen,” said HFC Pre-Education Program Director Dr. Carolyn Casale.

Cojei had recommended that Mokdad speak about Are You Okay?

“May taught with me for many years at William Ford. She and I have remained very close friends,” said Cojei. “When Dr. Casale approached me last school year about looking for local authors for the fifth-graders, I mentioned to her that I have a close friend who just finished writing a book about grief. May had recently lost her sister. Through this experience, she understood the need for helping children deal with loss. The book talks about loss and how to cope with it from a child’s point of view.”

“The topic relates to trauma,” said Casale. “The two teachers and I discussed what this would look like. It is not a soft topic, but we must discuss hard topics. This event provided a space for mental health issues to be discussed. I love how this event also highlighted our great area. Dearborn has a wealth of rich resources and talents.”

Despite the seriousness of the topic, the audience was highly engaged.

“My humanities students interviewed and engaged the fifth-graders,” said Casale. “My amazing pre-education students had hands-on experience organizing, facilitating, and engaging with multiple grade levels and abilities. There were bumps and the need to adapt and be flexible, which they did. In the end, they learned a lot. After the event, we spent time talking and reflecting on the day.”

Spreading kindness through grief

Born in Lebanon, Mokdad is the fifth of six children. Hala was the third child and the eldest daughter; she was six years Mokdad’s senior. Hala served as a mentor to her three sisters.

“She was like a second mother to us in many ways. She was fun and spirited. She was the valedictorian of her graduating class at Southwestern High School in Detroit. She was an attorney. She was such a very giving person. In fact, much of the time, she offered her legal expertise for free,” recalled Mokdad.

In 2022, Hala was diagnosed with skin cancer. It was a shock to her entire family because she was healthy and led a healthy, active lifestyle. After being diagnosed, she died within six months.

“Hala was 54. That’s too young,” said Mokdad. “Her death was the reason I retired and decided to help children in a different way by supporting them during their time of grief.”

Mokdad focused on becoming an author and on establishing Hala’s Heart, a nonprofit organization in Lebanon to keep her sister’s legacy alive. Its purpose is to provide people in Lebanon with food, shelter, and clothing. Hala’s Heart is in its infancy.

“It’s about spreading kindness through grief,” said Mokdad. “This event at HFC was about spreading kindness. What better way than to use this book to spread kindness? They couldn’t have picked a better book. It has a trickling effect. One act of kindness lends itself to another and to another. Before you know it, everyone’s benefiting from one act of kindness!”

You are not alone

Writing Are You Okay? was difficult for Mokdad, an alumna of Fordson High School and two-time alumna of Wayne State University who was a teacher in Dearborn for 27 years.

“Some of it was tough, revisiting the memories, the trauma,” said Mokdad. “Hala and I won’t be able to make any new memories together. For me, that is the hardest part of losing her.”

Writing Are You Okay? was also very cathartic for Mokdad.

“It helped me through my grief,” she said. “When writing this book, I got to visit grief centers and hear other people’s stories. I wasn’t alone going through this. It empowered me to help children and spread the message that there are people out there who care. They might feel alone, but they’re not alone; there is a lot of support out there to help them get through it. The best message this book sends is you will get through it.”

A portion of the proceeds from Are You Okay? will be donated to help children in the Metro Detroit area who are dealing with the loss of a parent.

“I made so many positive connections with the students during my visit to HFC,” said Mokdad. “When I was signing their books, many of them spoke to me about how they lost someone they loved. I would dedicate the book to their lost loved one. For me, that was very profound.”

Help is out there

If you and your children have suffered a loss, you do not have to go through grieving process alone. Help is available. [Michigan Resources for Grieving Families] provides a list of support groups to support your needs.

How to get a copy of Are You Okay?

Are You Okay? is available for purchase through the following, or check your local independent bookstore:

For questions about Are You Okay? or to invite Mokdad to speak at an event, contact may1125@yahoo.com